I will not be denied

Any of you who know me know by now that I am first, a beagle. The cute and irresistible companion aspect of me is second. I'm a dog, people. Why do you think that I'm not going to act like one? Mommy and Daddy took me for a walk yesterday. As I've said before, I love going on the walks where I can be out sniffing new and interesting things. And I'm always on the lookout for stray food. Sometimes a construction worker or just a messy person will toss a little scrap on the street. What's useless trash to them, is a tasty treasure to me! And thanks to my nose, I often find things before Mommy and Daddy can stop me. Which is what happened yesterday. We were walking along, all content to be in the evening sun (yea daylight savings time!) when, to my pleasant surprise, I spotted a chicken bone. Did I care that it was crawling with ants? No! It smelled like meat and I wanted it. I snatched it up and started to run, even though I was on the leash, cuz I figured I could chew on it while they were trying to chase me down. There was no way I was going to let that go. They yelled at me and I still wouldn't let go. Daddy pried my mouth open and Mommy gingerly went fishing after the slimy ant-encrusted bone and I still wouldn't let go. Eventually, between the two of them, they were able to get it out but I snatched a little piece of it back when it fell on the ground. They didn't like that. They were talking to me in their mean voices which probably wasn't good and then they were talking to me in their conversational "voice of reason," like I could understand what the heck they were saying. It's like the cartoon where all I hear is blah blah blah Stubby blah blah blah. When will they ever learn? If they don't want me eating stray food off the street, then they'd better stay on their toes!

Happy Easter from the Easter Beagle!

We just got back from Grandma and Grandpa's house. It was a long drive home because it was raining really hard and Mommy and Daddy had to drive slowly and were scared. Not me. I was worn out from all the festivities so I just hopped right into the back seat, collapsed, and didn't get up until we got home. I must have been exhausted from the sugar high. When will they ever learn? I was at Grandma and Grandpa's this morning in the kitchen where they were making coffee. They had some coconut cream pie on the kitchen table and Grandma left her chair pulled out for a second. Well, you know me. I waste no time seizing an opportunity when I see one. They turned their backs for about 10 seconds during which I jumped up on the chair. Next thing you know, they're exclaiming with shock at seeing me with my back paws on the chair and my front paws in the plate, eating the piece of pie as fast as I could. Because as soon as I heard them, I knew I only had a few seconds before they came to pull me down. Even as they were pulling me away, I took a big chunk into my mouth and kept chewing it as fast as I could, since I figured by time they got me off the chair and got to my mouth, I would have the thing swallowed. I got some whipped cream on Grandma's new chair but I think the upholstery is easy-clean. Mmmm, pie. Mmmm, whipped cream. I got some on my front paws from having them on the dish and I spent many happy minutes after licking them clean just like a kitty.

Later they went to church and put me in the laundry room and put up a baby gate to keep me in. Fools. As soon as they left, I just kept throwing myself against it until I was able to push it down. Unfortunately, they hadn't left anything tasty around the house within reach so I basically just laid around until they got home. But later I got to see the rest of the family at Easter dinner. All in all, a fairly productive weekend. But I fear they're going to make my diet even stricter the next couple days so that I don't gain any weight. Rats!

Peep-ful Are the Luckiest People in the World

I'm a bad boy. I knew that Mommy had some Peeps in the big closet in the master bath. But when she went to dance class, she shut the bedroom door because she had seen me sniffing around there earlier. But I guess she didn't shut it hard enough because with throwing myself against it enough times, I was able to get it open and run into the closet where I had my own little Peep fest. I know, I know, I shouldn't have done it. But I couldn't help myself. Do you think I lack self-discipline?

Well, Daddy came home and went to work in the office and was suspicious because I wouldn't stay put in one room and just relax. So he went into the bedroom, saw the empty Peep box which had contained 12, count them, 12 Peeps and then saw the surrounding carnage of purple Easter grass and a pile of my poop (I guess that sugar just couldn't stay inside too long) and became very angry. He had to get out the vacuum to suck up the grass and then had to clean up my mess. Now I'm laying around because it's hot and my belly is too full of sugary yellow Peeps to be able to move about much. You'd think I would have learned my lesson after the Christmas candy debacle but then again, I'm a dog. If it's there, I'll eat it. Duh!

Attention Deficit

I had the best weekend. Grandma, Grandpa, and Lauren came to visit and I got so much attention! If one of the grandparents weren't petting me, Lauren was playing with me and my toys. She even took me for a walk out in the soothing sun. By the end of the night, I was so tired that I even let Mommy and Daddy sleep in 'til 8am the next day before I demanded they get up to let me out and feed me. I was sad to see them leave but later that night I got to see my other grandma when we went over for a pasta dinner (no, I didn't get to eat any but it smelled good!). Not only was Grandma there, so were Jim and Karen so I got plenty of love and petting. Now it's back to the same old routine but we're going up to Grandma and Grandpa's house this weekend for Easter so you know what that means. Lots of company and lots of opportunities to be adored. Because isn't that what a pasha is for? Beth will come to visit, too and I can't wait. Maybe someone will sneak me some human food while Mommy and Daddy aren't looking. Mommy was totally crazy and gave up peanut butter for Lent. Can you think of anything crazier than that? I think it's made her a little weak in the head so perhaps I can use that to my advantage and get some extra treats out of her. Wish me luck!

Poop Plethora

So they finally bought a real pooper scooper for me. They went out in the yard and cleaned it up the best they could. Some of the poop was so old it kinda disintegrated and will eventually disappear once the grass grows and gets cut. So I guess this means I'll finally be able to go out into the yard without sidestepping all the landmines.

Today Mommy and Daddy bought me a new toy (see pic). I love it already! I think it may have surpassed Curly as my favorite toy. Of course, I've had it less than an hour and the squeaker's already dead. I know you can go out and buy replacement squeakers but Mommy said she's not wasting her time doing a "toy-otomy" just to replace a squeaker. But that's ok. I still love it. And it's so chic. And a pasha must always be at the forefront of all that is cool. They also bought me a new pillow to sleep on. It's much nicer than my old one, which is starting to get a depression in the middle where I sleep so that it's not fluffy anymore. Not befitting a pasha at all. This one is round (very pasha-like) and has braided piping around the edges. Very fancy. I've already sniffed it out and decided that I shall sleep on it.

Mommy's been on call all week so she's been cranky and neglecting me. She'll finally be done tomorrow night so maybe she'll take me out this week on a walk. I need to get out. My fans need me!