Just Knockin' Around

Can you find the dog in this picture? This was before the grass was cut this week. It had just been cut barely a week before, but with all the rain it grew like crazy. But at least the weather's nicer and I can go out and lay in the sun. I love lying in the sun! My shiny black fur soaks it up and I get all warm and cozy. Sometimes, the yard is covered in shade but I find the one sunny spot and curl up within it and doze. What a life!

This week, the male human brought me some treats home from Three Dog Bakery. Man, I love that place! They whole store is devoted to making treats for me (as it should be, I'm a pasha) and sometimes I like to make a personal appearance to keep morale up. They have lots of yummy peanut butter treats like bagels and cookies but the humans don't buy me many because apparently I'm a little chubby. Personally, I think it's ludicrous. A little weight is a sign of success, no? When I first came home with the humans, I was 30 lbs and was promptly put on a diet. I'm supposed to get down to 22 lbs but how can I, when my main calling in life is to eat? The humans have me on diet food (tastes good, though) and no "people" food allowed. I've got them trained, though. Everytime they go someplace, they give me a little treat to "distract" me so I don't run out the door. Fools! If only they knew I was playing them for the free food! But even the treats are becoming less frequent because I'm still 25lbs. If I had my way, I'd be eating 24 hours a day. Who needs sleep when you've got snacks?

Meow, Oops, I Mean Woof!

As I've alluded to before, sometimes I act like a cat. It comes from the fact that I spent part of my life growing up with other animals, including cats. I spent so much time with them, I even had a little kitty at one of my foster homes I used to cuddle with. Everytime I would come home, I would run up the stairs howling (which is funny, cuz I'm usually not a howler, despite being part beagle) to find my kitty so I could snuggle with her. So I guess being around those crazy felines kinda rubbed off on me. I like to climb on the tops of furniture (as pictured above) to sleep and sometimes even pace on the tops of the couches. I also lick my front paws for hours. If I see a fly in the window, I'll wait for all day on the top of the couch until it gets tired and then I'll catch it in my mouth and kill it. That's how good and multi-talented I am. I even bathe myself like a cat, although I can't get my leg straight up in the air to lick my ass like cats can. Too bad, it looks kinda fun. Maybe if I took yoga.

Everybody Loves Me

Look at me, only yesterday I thought I would waste away from the heat and humidity. The humans wouldn't take me on walks because it was too hot. Meanwhile the male human hasn't mowed the lawn since last week, it's rained, and the grass is getting high. I don't like walking out onto the lawn to pee when the grass is so high it's tickling the Little Pasha, if you know what I mean. So what I've been doing, instead is gingerly placing my front paws in the grass and keeping the rear paws on the sidewalk whilst carefully tilting my nether-regions forward so that the stream hits the grass. Pretty clever, eh? Well, when you're a pasha, great ideas like this come naturally.

Tonight I went for a walk with the humans and met many dogs that were happy to finally be outdoors and enjoying the breeze. Of course, they were all mezmerized by my riveting eyes and sassy tail. Many wondered how it came to be partially mangled as it is, but you all must be patient to learn more about my former life. It's quite exciting, full of adventure, intrigue, and heartbreak but the story cannot be told lightly. When the time is right, I shall reveal myself fully. In any case, I had a great time sniffing various tufts of grass previously saturated with other dogs' pee and sniffing the butts of strange pooches.

I hope the weather is nice this weekend. Maybe they'll mow the lawn and I'll be able to lay in the grass for hours in the sun, one of my favorite pasttimes. Or maybe I'll just lick my butt and chew on my foot. Either way, it's gonna be great.

Dog Days

Hello, future adoring fans. I am Stubby, or you can call me the Pasha. Why, do you ask? When my humans brought me home for the first time (more on that later!), I decided that I shall take residence on the big blue pillow that was discarded on the floor next to the bed. It seemed to be fit for a pasha of my magnitude and quite comfy to sleep on. From there, I can allow my legions of followers to come and pay homage to me. Believe me, I don't think I am some sort of god, but when you are as cute and pettable as me, you cannot help but take pity on the poor masses who come begging to caress me and adore me. (Excuse me , one minute, I must lick my paw for no explicable reason...)

OK, now you all may be wondering, why should I care about what this silly dog has to say? Well, I think that you may find that the things dogs find interesting sure beats the pointless ramblings of humans any day. Who cares about money and mortgages and family fights? There are a lot more important things in the world, like food and trying to get to it as much as possible.

I guess I should start by telling you a little about myself. I am part beagle and part something else, terrier or dachsund maybe, I don't know. All I know is that the combo works and I'm a hot little number, if you ever saw one. I may have no balls, but who needs balls when you have ears as silky and smooth as mine? I also love to sniff stuff since I'm a hound so don't try to hide anything from me or I'll find it, especially if it smells like peanut butter. Oh peanut butter, that smooth and delicious treat, I love you...yum, pant, pant slobber slobber..............

Oops, sorry about that. Like I've said, I love peanut butter and will do anything to get some, even that low carb stuff the female human eats. Sometimes, if I look at her with my "cute face," she'll let me have a little off her finger when she finishes. I'm working on getting her to give me spoonfuls of the stuff but so far it hasn't worked. I think I'll need to work harder on charming her so any suggestions will help. I tried catching some flies for her and marking the carpet by my crate, but for some reason, that just hasn't done the trick.

So that's a little about me. As time goes on, I may divulge more about myself, but you'll have to be patient. A pasha just doesn't dish for anyone.