Everybody Loves Me

Look at me, only yesterday I thought I would waste away from the heat and humidity. The humans wouldn't take me on walks because it was too hot. Meanwhile the male human hasn't mowed the lawn since last week, it's rained, and the grass is getting high. I don't like walking out onto the lawn to pee when the grass is so high it's tickling the Little Pasha, if you know what I mean. So what I've been doing, instead is gingerly placing my front paws in the grass and keeping the rear paws on the sidewalk whilst carefully tilting my nether-regions forward so that the stream hits the grass. Pretty clever, eh? Well, when you're a pasha, great ideas like this come naturally.

Tonight I went for a walk with the humans and met many dogs that were happy to finally be outdoors and enjoying the breeze. Of course, they were all mezmerized by my riveting eyes and sassy tail. Many wondered how it came to be partially mangled as it is, but you all must be patient to learn more about my former life. It's quite exciting, full of adventure, intrigue, and heartbreak but the story cannot be told lightly. When the time is right, I shall reveal myself fully. In any case, I had a great time sniffing various tufts of grass previously saturated with other dogs' pee and sniffing the butts of strange pooches.

I hope the weather is nice this weekend. Maybe they'll mow the lawn and I'll be able to lay in the grass for hours in the sun, one of my favorite pasttimes. Or maybe I'll just lick my butt and chew on my foot. Either way, it's gonna be great.