Seatstealer: Guilty as Charged

It's a sickness, really. I don't know why I'm compelled to do it. But I have to. Anytime one of them gets up from the couch, I have to steal their seat. It doesn't matter if I'm happily sitting in my own cozy little corner of the couch. I have to get up and take over their spot. Then, when they come back to their seat, they're usually mad and tell me to move. Of course I pretend like I don't even hear them. I just curl up tighter and ignore them. I don't know why I do it. I guess I just lack self-discipline.

Thar She Blows

We've gotten so much snow over the past two weeks. I feel like I'm climbing Mount Everest every time I go outside to lift my leg. But now, it's been raining for like two days. The streets are flooding from the rain and the melting snow and when I go out in the yard, I sink into the snow if I stand still for too long. So maybe that's the reason that Mommy and Daddy got me this ridiculous outfit. Look at me. I'm the Gorton's Fisherman. And I don't even get to eat any of the fish sticks. And am I supposed to be able to pee in this thing? I'm not so sure. But I'm sure they had my best interests in mind when they bought me this getup. I'm sure it had nothing to do with humiliating me once again and dressing me up like some sick, furry Ken doll. No, that couldn't be it. They would never do that. Never. Or would they?

Court Jester

Am I nothing more than a source of entertainment for my owners? Look at me! They think they can bring a couple of treats outside and I'll just start performing for them, like a dancing clown. It's so humiliating. They know my weakness when it comes to food and they exploit it. I'm being exploited. That's right. Dogsploitation. It's disgusting. I wonder if they'll take me out and do it again today. I hope so.

Snow Bunny

One night I go to bed, as happy as can be. The next day, I get up to go outside and do my business and there's like a foot of snow on the ground and sleet in the air. What gives? I hesitated at the door and actually contemplated holding it for a couple days but when nature calls, all you can do is answer. So I have to be brave and go out in the tundra just to lift my leg on the remains of a scraggly bush that's barely peeking out above the drifts of snow. The one good thing is that the sleet hardened the top of the snow so that I don't sink into it. I can run across the yard and feel like I'm a foot taller! Mommy and Daddy took me on a few walks last week and I love running through the snow and sniffing footprints, trying to track them and figure out who's been there before me. Maybe when Beth comes this weekend, she'll take me out into the snow, too. Who needs warm weather when you can bury your nose in a refreshing pile of snow?