Do You Hear What I Hear?

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas! And to my Jewish friends, I hope you are enjoying a wonderful Hannakuh. I was lucky enough to go to my grandparents' new house for a few days. It was fun sniffing around a new place and I even did them a favor and marked a few areas around the house. For some reason though, Mommy and Daddy weren't too happy about that. And they didn't leave any candy out for me this time, either. What Scrooges! I heard some dogs barking at the neighbor's house but I didn't see them while I was there. Maybe next time once it's warmer I can go meet them. I heard that one of them is a beagle with black fur on top so I bet he looks a lot like me. Maybe we can become friends. Then I'll have someone to visit every time I go over there. I hear that they never leave their yard because they have an electric fence. Ouch. Maybe I play with them for awhile and keep running out of their yard and then each time they chase me, they'll get stopped by the fence. Or maybe not. That's kinda mean.

Mommy's neices were there again so I got lots of attention. I even met some new people and they all loved me. I got pet almost the whole weekend, with some time out here and there to sleep. Of course, Grandpa didn't want me on his new couches but there was no stopping me. But I was careful. I couldn't just watch everyone else sit up there and be left out in the cold. At the back of the house, there are some sliding doors and no houses behind so I sat there and watched traffic go by. I can't wait until the back yard gets sodded so I can run out there in the summer. Maybe Grandma and Grandpa will get a chain and let me run out there on my own.

We came home last night and they took me to the vet today to get my bath. Apparently, I also have pink eye and a "sheath" infection which means for the next week, I have to get eyedrops and some ointment rubbed on my naughty bits. Yea. I'd rather have chocolate.

Merry Christmas!

To all of my Adoring Fans,
I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season. May all of your wishes come true. May there be peace on Earth and good will to All.

Champagne Dreams and Peanut Butter Kisses,
Stubby the Pasha

P.S. woof woof!

The Fool Returns to His Folly

Now, I know you all are going to be upset when you hear what I did, but you need to remember that I'm a dog and that said, I'm going to act like one. As Chris Rock once said, no one should have been shocked to hear what happened to Roy and the white tiger in Las Vegas. The tiger didn't go crazy, he went tiger.

S'anyway, as I said in my last post, we had a party last weekend and it was a lot of fun. I was the life of the shindig, everybody loved me, blah blah blah. Since we had the party, Mommy and Daddy had little snacks around the house. They took care not to put any on the coffee table where I could reach them. Up on the dining room table, there was a bowl of Reeses peanut butter bells and a bowl of peanut M and M's. Unfortunately, being the short fellow that I am, I couldn't get to them. Not that I couldn't smell them every damn day walking by that damn table like a cajillion times. But I digress. Yesterday, Mommy left to go to her bellydance Christmas party and Daddy went to do some last-minute shopping. Daddy was using the laptop at the dining room table and after he logged off he left the chair out a little bit. What can I say? An opportunity presented itself and as a lover of anything edible, I had to take it. I used the chair to get up onto the table and helped myself to half a bowl of M and M's. They weren't as good as they smelled so I mostly licked the outsides, got them really sticky, and left them scattered across the fabric placemats and smooth wood table. Next, the Reeses bells. Now, you all know about my passion for peanut butter so I wasn't about to mess up this grand opportunity by only eating a couple. Therefore, I ate the whole bowl, foil wrappers and all. All that was left was one wrapped bell, at the top of the stairs. I was able to get a few of the wrappers off but mostly I had to just eat the whole thing. I probably had about 15-20 bells. Well, once Daddy got home, I don't think he was too pleased about the whole thing. I didn't feel too well and had to poop on the floor next to the door to my side yard. After he cleaned that up, I snuck upstairs so I could feel nauseous in peace. This little foray led to me puking on the carpet in the bedroom. A pile of half-digested chocolate and foil. Daddy wasn't too happy about cleaning that up, either. I was finally able to settle down and lie down in once place without getting up to pace around the house. Mommy came home and we went upstairs to go to bed. As soon as I got to bed and we turned the lights out, I felt another wave of uneasiness overcome me. I went to the same carpeted area in front of the master bath and puked again. I don't know why, but that really made Daddy mad. But since then, I haven't puked at all and I've eaten my usual breakfast without any problems. I hope I'm going to be ok. Mommy and Daddy seem to be worried that I ate so much chocolate, but I don't see what the big deal is. I wish they would leave snacks out more often. I can't wait 'til next Christmas!

Pooped

What a weekend! First, all the crazy snow comes in and I'm climbing through all of it every day just to find a nice place to take a crap. Then, Mommy and Daddy take me to the photography studio Saturday afternoon to take a family portrait for Xmas (yes, I say Xmas. So what? Jesus, don't be hatin' on me now. I'm just lazy, that's all.) and of course, I have to spend several minutes perusing the joint first and checking out all the various smells before I can settle down and get to the business at hand. I got in trouble as we were setting up the shoot because I slyly walked over to the fake fireplace while they weren't looking and snatched a gumdrop off of the little gingerbread house. Unfortunately, they're a little stickier than I thought so I couldn't surreptitiously wolf it down. Then, the idiots think they can put me in a gift-wrapped box and I'll just stand in there prettily while they pose for the camera. Please! I'm a pasha, not a sideshow! I finally agreed to pose for a few pics with them as they were begging me to and I was feeling sorry for them. What can I say? I threw them a few crumbs and they gobbled it up gratefully.

Later that evening, they had a Xmas party and as usual, I was the center of attention. Man, I made that party! If it wasn't for me, you would have probably seen a bunch of people sitting around the table staring at each other with nothing but the sounds of mosquitoes in the background and an occasional throat-clearing. I got a lot of wonderful pets out of the evening and many offers to take me home but I don't think I'm gonna go anywhere. I'm quite happy where I am now, even if I have to throw the poor humans a bone from time to time. A pasha's work is never done.

Let it Snow

It's been ages since I last blogged, I know but I've been pretty lazy. Not much to report. Just been hanging around the house. Now that it's cold, I don't get to go on walks anymore. They just let me out into the fenced-in side yard and I wander around there, do my business, then go back in the house. But when Mommy's on call and Daddy has to sleep in the guest room, she lets me sleep in the bed with her since it supposedly comforts her. But it's such a tease. Now, every night, I jump in bed while they're getting ready to go to sleep and I lie real still amongst the sheets. I figure if I'm still enough, they won't notice me and they'll just go to sleep. So far, no such luck. And when they tell me to get down and go to sleep on my pillow, I don't budge. I just look at them and challenge them to move me. Of course, they eventually give up and try to pick me up off of the bed. So what I do is I crouch down and curl up even more and make dead weight so it's really hard for them to pick me up. Unfortunately, that doesn't work and I get thrown down onto the pillow anyway. At least I don't sleep in my crate at night anymore. I'm only in it during the day.

Today we had our first big snow. It's still snowing and so far, we've gotten about 4 or 5 inches, with about 2-3 more to go. And they aren't pretty, fat, lazy flakes drifting down slowly. This snow means business. It's not going to stop until the entire city is white. When I went outside, the snow was so high, my legs sank into the ground and the snow came up to my belly. I looked like some legless dog floating on top of a snow drift. But it was fun. Maybe Mommy and Daddy will take me out into the snow this weekend and play.

This weekend, we are going to have a Christmas party which means I get to meet a lot of new people. More fans to fall in love with me. I can't wait to be pet all night. Party on!