Grass - Friend or Nemesis?

I know I was just talking about how much I love thick, soft grass and how I could eat it forever. But beware. Grass can turn on you just like *that*. One day, you're lovingly chewing on its tasty blades and the next, you're staring out over the expanse of an uninviting, wet slippery mess. Because did you know, that grass can get wet? I know, I was as surprised and shocked as you. Apparently, when it rains the grass likes to hold onto the moisture for a while. I was stunned. I thought grass and I had an understanding and then it goes and betrays me like this. As you all know, I am a pasha and cannot bother my dainty feet by going out onto a wet lawn. That's just gross. So I circle around inside, next to the door, silently debating inside my head if it's worth going out and getting my feet wet and icky or if I could hold it a few days. Sometimes Mommy gets frustrated because I don't want to go out and she needs to leave. For some unexplainable reason, she can't just let it go and overlook an occasional accident in the house. So she drags me by the collar outside and puts me right into that slick grass. Well, by then I'm out in the middle of it and freeze. If I move to run back inside, I'll just feel it more on my paws. So I have no choice but to stay there and do my business. I'm sure the whole neighborhood is watching my humiliation and laughing. How degrading. How could you, grass? I hardly know ye.

I have my own website now!

Hello adoring fans,
I just wanted to let you know that my new website is www.stubbythepasha.com. Yes, I now have my own site that you can go to directly. Set your bookmarks! The pasha has arrived!

Ummmmm......Grass........

Oh, grass, how do I love thee? You are so sweet and green. So soft and inviting. You beckon to me as I walk past, with your seductive undulating in the breeze. How could a humble pasha like me possibly resist? I must have you! I nibble and nibble and nibble some more. Mommy even calls me "Billy goat, goat, goat" (see awesome Tex Avery cartoon below illustrating this). Mommy and Daddy get impatient on our walks, wondering what the fascination could be. I chew until your magic kicks in, and I begin to hack. But they'll never understand what we feel for each other. I want to eat you up, and you want to be devoured. What we have together will always be our own secret understanding. This ode is to you, Grass. Until we meet again.