I'm being serious

Look at my face. You can see I have something serious to say. I know I am usually fairly lighthearted and funny but I wanted to share some news with you. My first adventure took me to my annual dental appointment. First of all, it sucks because they take my food and water away the night before so I don't get any breakfast in the morning. That's just mean. Then, they poke me to draw blood and then shave the front of my leg so they can put an IV in. So now I have one half-shaved leg and look like I'm trying to make a fashion statement or live a hip-hop lifestyle or something. Yo. Then, they tell me that I have a lump under my tail so they send a bit to the lab. Well, the doctor called yesterday and said it's a tumor. (Yes, Arnold, it's a tumor.) That got me thinking about my life and how happy I finally am and how I'm not ready to leave my mommy and daddy yet. I mean, after all I've been through, I deserve to spend a few contented years in a stable home, right? The tumor is in my perianal gland. The doctor said that in at least 95% of the cases it's usually benign. But it still needs to come out so they can send it to the lab and make sure it's not the other 5%. Even if it's benign, if they leave it, it might continue to grow and there are a lot of blood vessels in there and if I start chewing on it, it might bleed a lot. I really hope it's not the other 5%. I mean, that's a pretty low number right? I shouldn't worry about this, right? Only one way to find out. I'm going under the knife this Thursday. Say a little prayer for me...